Always Seeking the Gold Star...

"Tour de Force!" So much of my life has been prided off the achievements, the gold star moments, those pinnacle instances where I attained completion with recognition. It wasn't those moments reflecting back on now though that paved the pathway to apply to the Peace Corps. 

The funny story behind that all lies within securing an alternative option. Florida was hit quite hard with recession, jobs were not guaranteed right out of college and my excitement/drive for law school faded, paralleled with a sudden death in my family and you get a recipe for "what's-next-syndrome?" Life to me meant more. A day was a blessing, not my given right. Life seemed too short to be stuck studying all day for a job in a law firm, I wasn't even sure I wanted, let alone promised. I did know that I still had a passion for helping others and wanted to do some good. 

What's better than serving your own country by going abroad and experiencing anew? Having an adventure of a lifetime and learning about the potential you carry within yourself, bare of all comfort, stripped of material possessions besides those that you literally have to carry, generates a feeling of pride within.

There's beauty in the idea that I can change the preconceived notions Rwandan's have of us, and equivocally  do the same for Americans about their culture, pride, and past. 

Fast forward to today... Sure, what I have completed this far is laudable, unprecedented in my immediate family and I continue to keep raising the bar.  I'm what StrengthsFinder2.0 labels as an Achiever.

"Your Achiever theme helps explain your drive. Achiever describes constant need for achievement. You feel as if every day starts at zero. By the end of the day you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself. And by "every day" you mean every single day-- Workdays, weekends, vacations. No matter how much you may feel you deserve a day of rest, if the day passes without some form of achievement, no matter how small, you will feel dissatisfied. You have an internal fire burning inside you. It pushes you to do more, to achieve more. After each accomplishment is reached, the fire dwindles for a moment, but very soon it rekindles itself, forcing you toward the next accomplishment. Your relentless need for achievement might not be logical. It might not even be focused. But it will always be with you. As an Achiever you must learn to live with this whisper of discontent. It does have its benefits...It is the theme that keeps you moving."

Regardless of my achievements, Captain of the volleyball team, receiving recognition by the University of South Florida for creating the "Best New Organization" on campus, or attaining the Hospitable Volunteer Award with Hospice for my volunteer efforts, graduating with 3.7 overall after my counselor argued it would be too difficult to grasp, or becoming the first college graduate, debt free, thanks to the support of my parents who didn't have the same opportunity, (I thank you Mom and Dad, both for not making is so easy that when I finally earned my degree, I could really be proud to know that I had in fact done just that-- earned it.) 

My drive for the gold star consistently has pushed me forward and beyond goals I thought I was able to achieve- but intuitively knew I could. 

So now, six days away and Peace Corps is the next plateau of achievement.  It is time to not be selfish with MY wants, MY needs, MY contrivances.  Like my mother said," You see, Lauren, you belong to the world now. It is time to share yourself."

(And that's what I intend to do.)

Source: StrengthsFinder2.0 ( I highly recommend to any one to buy the book and check out your 7 strengths. Phenomenal feedback.)

Note: This blog will chronicle my life working as a US Peace Corps Volunteer in Rwanda from 2012 to 2014. Any writings or opinions expressed on this blog are mine alone and are not necessarily shared by the Peace Corps, the country of Rwanda, or the US Government--

You're probably asking yourself, "What does "Seka" even mean anyway?"

"Seka" means "smile" in Kinyarwanda, the language of the Rwandan culture.

The Travel of an American Seka! is deemed appropriate seeing that a smile is international. It means the same thing in every culture, and is reciprocated in gain of one. A smile is contagious, it is influential, it can change a life, and particularly my favorite quality about a smile is that one is free. It doesn't matter where you live, what you have, the time of day, or who you are surrounded by. You see, it's never closing time for a smile. You can never run out of one or share too many, and anywhere you go, the server, grandma, mom, bank teller, zoo keeper, or attendant can never say, " sorry, all out of smiles here." The supply of smiles are ongoing and the demand for them is consistent making one priceless. And like my mother says, "a smile never goes out style, and looks great in whatever you're wearing"; therefore your  investment for one is solid.

So here I am, a week prior to departure for staging.

My heart is beating with excitement and passion for the service about to be served. I am eager to meet my Peace Corps Volunteer Family members and to gain as much as I can through the experiences yet to arrive which will be sure to only enhance my qualities as an individual.

Packing has taken some time, finally got it down though. With an "add-if-room-available" space nearby, with the hopes that my mom doesn't take notice to me sneaking one item in after the other. Albeit, the man checking my bag at the airport will be sure to notice when my bag exceeds the mandatory 100 lbs. I am willing to take my chance with him.

Each day brings on some sort of new obstacle, realizing the difficulty/courage in saying goodbye. I recently felt like perhaps my heart may not be strong enough to take on the challenge. But then I came across an old note from my mother, it read:

It takes COURAGE to risk being in a relationship.It takes COURAGE to be willing to change.It takes COURAGE to be yourself all the time.It takes COURAGE to always tell the truth.It takes COURAGE to share all your feelings.It takes COURAGE to rise above your conditioning.It takes COURAGE to break out of a mold or role.It takes COURAGE to break family traditions.It takes COURAGE to get out of a rut.It takes COURAGE to try something new.It takes COURAGE to look at your shadows.It takes COURAGE to admit you were wrongIt takes COURAGE to take responsibility for your part in an upset.It takes COURAGE to take responsibility period.It takes COURAGE to give up an addiction.It takes COURAGE to forgive a heartbreak.It takes COURAGE to be present with people.It takes COURAGE to find solutions.It takes COURAGE to see things differently.It takes COURAGE to leave unhealthy relationships.It takes COURAGE to be alone and happy.It takes COURAGE to ask for help.It takes COURAGE to go for what you really want.It takes COURAGE to lead by example.It takes COURAGE to make a stretch.It takes COURAGE to find your voice and speak the truth.

 You see, it always takes COURAGE no matter where we are , or what we are doing in life. Whether it's finishing our degree, traveling, leaving something behind, or welcoming something new; taking steps onto a new era of our lives, or just trying to be the best we can be everyday. Whether its challenging our beliefs; standing up for what we feel is right; or trying to decipher between what is right, true, and correct. Whether it's the notion that where we have been is not where we are ultimately going and overcoming the past; it takes the COURAGE to consistently push through. Its not ever about the final destination, but more so the adventure in getting there.

I want you all to know that we all possess this COURAGE and while at times, we feel it is not always present, looking back from where I sit now, I believe that I have managed to conquer through with COURAGE everyday. And I have seen the same in all of you.

Here's to pushing through.. With COURAGE! May you find your COURAGE every time you need to.

Icumweru!!! (EeChoomWayRoo!!!)
"1 week" left!!!!!